


Lovesick

by intellexual_asexual



Series: Ego Short Stories [6]
Category: Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series)
Genre: and the cactus sdkfjhlhfsjf, i should give it a name kdjskfhld, no beta we die like actor mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28858881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/pseuds/intellexual_asexual
Summary: Marvin is a cheapskate. So he stores his various potions in water bottles. This is what happens when he doesn't fucking label them.
Series: Ego Short Stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106381
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Lovesick

**Author's Note:**

> ksdjhkgjhfd finally I managed to work on a Septic fic. I really like writing Marvin, I feel like he's a perfect mix between unhinged and practical. Enjoy!

“Hey guys, Dark wanted me to let you know that—Marvin _what_ are you doing?”

Out of all the things Y/N expected to see on their visit to the Septics, it was not this. Marvin the Magnificent had his back to Y/N, but they could still see the mini cauldron that was tipped over a water bottle. Y/N could also just make out the Bro Average logo printed on the bottle.

Marvin quickly turned around, tryin to hide the bottle and cauldron as he said, “O-Oh Y/N! Hey, I didn’t hear you come in, huh, I thought you could only come over here if you used one of my portals?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow as Marvin knocked over the Bro Average bottle, in his crazy attempt to hide his actions. “Yeah, Dark knows shadow travel or some shit, so he sent me over using that. Are you going to tell me what you’re doing or are you still going to try and hide that bright pink stain?”

There was indeed a neon pink puddle now on the tiled floor of the Septics’ kitchen. Marvin sighed. “I didn’t think anyone was going to be around for this. I was trying to find something to put my potions in because _God_ are those glass flasks expensive. I dug around in the attic and found these!”

Marvin gestured to a still-wrapped pallet of around 100 Bro Average bottles sitting next to the counter.

“Uh-huh, right. Don’t you think that you should maybe, _possibly_ tell Chase that you’re using his stuff?”

Marvin scoffed. “Oh please, these are overstock. I think. He won’t miss them either way.”

Y/N sighed. “No, I mean, doesn’t he use those same ones? What if he drinks something out of one of the potion ones? Are you going to label them? Please tell me you’re going to label them.”

Marvin rolled his eyes. “It’ll be fine. They’ll stay in my room for sure, he won’t mix them up.”

“Alright, just don’t stop me from saying ‘I told you so’ like three days from now. Is anyone else more _sensible_ home so I can give them this invitation?”

Marvin turned back to Y/N with a mocked hurt expression. “Y/N! You don’t think I’m smart? Look at this, could a dummy do this?” 

He failed spectacularly at magically levitating some water from the tap into a glass.

Y/N just shook their head as they moved out of the kitchen in search of a more laid-back ego.

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

Three days later, Y/N received the following text from the contact “Pussy Magic”: “please please please help. i need help. no one else is home now please help me”

It was followed immediately by: “also please don’t say ‘i told you so’ ”

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

After making a portal for Y/N to walk through, Marvin moved aside so Y/N could see what he _desperately_ needed help with. It was… a sight.

Chase Brody was currently sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter, his Bro Average bottle and cap abandoned behind him. There was a small potted cactus in his lap, of which he was currently stroking affectionately. Chase’s pupils were as wide as could be, and his normally bright blue eyes were tinged pink.

Y/N could do nothing but laugh. Not only was this the most hilarious thing they’d seen since Yan threw down on Illinois, but Henrik von Schneeplestein was going to go _absolutely bonkers_ over his house plant being manhandled. Though it really wasn’t being ‘manhandled.’ Chase was still petting the cactus fondly, not even flinching at the dozen or so needles now stuck in his hand.

Marvin groaned and covered his face with his hands. Y/N was still laughing hysterically as they asked through their tears, “H-Has he t-tried to kiss i-it yet?!”

Chase was apparently not too lovestruck to hear Y/N, and he blushed as he replied, “W-Well, I mean, I would, but they want to take it slow, y’know?”

Y/N was rolling around on the ground now. Marvin sighed, waiting for them to finish laughing at his situation. After a few minutes they got up and wiped the tears from their face. 

But then they took another look at Chase and the cactus and burst back into laughter. 

“OK, look, it was funny at first but please, Y/N, I need help! You’re the only person I could call, my brothers would never let it go and none of the Ipliers would actually help!”

Y/N pushed down the last of their giggles and asked, “Alright, OK, I think I’m good. How did this even happen? Well, I mean,” they pointed to the Bro Average bottle, “besides you not doing what I suggested.”

Marvin hung his head. “Yeah, I know, don’t scold me. I left that bottle out in the living room for a second while I went to the bathroom, and when I came back Chase was already reaching for the cactus. I was trying out some new love potion, it makes the drinker fall in love with the first living thing it sees. Why did he have to pick the damn cactus?!”

Y/N was also wondering why he chose to love all over the cactus. There were two other houseplants sitting on the kitchen windowsill, both of which were far less harmless than the pointy cactus. But there was a vacant spot to the very left of the windowsill, and Y/N supposed that was where their eyes rested if someone entered the kitchen from the living room.

Y/N tested their theory and found their hypothesis to be correct. They told Marvin this newfound discovery and he replied, “I am going to have a word with Schneep about where he puts his damn plants.”

Marvin sighed and picked up the bottle, poofing it away in a puff of lime green smoke. He turned to his brother. “Chase, please put Schneep’s cactus back.”

Chase gasped and looked between the cactus and Marvin. “ _Schneep’s_ cactus?! Sweetheart, is it true, are you cheating on me??”

He gave the cactus a stern look, and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh again as Marvin sighed, “Chase, that’s not what I—oh for God’s sake, just c'mere.”

Before Marvin could try to pry Chase from the cactus by force, however, Chase gave a jolt as his eyes returned to normal. He shook his head, supposedly disoriented, and gave a confused look at the cactus. “What—?”

He looked around and saw Y/N and Marvin. “Guys, what the what? Why do I have Doc’s special cactus? And why is my hand covered in needles?”

Y/N snickered as they patted Marvin on the back and walked away. “You can handle this, Marv. It was your problem anyway.”

“Y/N, wait, no, where are you going, you can’t just—?!”

But Y/N did not turn back as Chase finally figured out what happened, and they laughed again as Marvin was yelled at. “I told you so.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not gonna lie, I have had this idea engraved in my brain for the past month. I just haven't had a chance to do anything about it dkjfhkjfg. As always, make sure to leave a comment if you like this work, and don't be afraid to request another!


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